Dancing With Tears In My Eyes
by Kaci Brianna
Summary: Sequel to Masquerade.* One shot. A fic inspired by the song of the same name, by Kesha. When one dies, how will the other cope?


_Author's Note:_  
_This idea has been in my mind for the past two years now, seriously. I love this song, and every single time I listen to it I think of it as what one of them would be like if the other were to suddenly die. I purposely left it to where you don't know who's point of view it's written in until the end of the fic. I hope you guys liked it as much as I enjoyed writing it, and if you did, please review!_

**_*This fic is the sequel to my fic _Masqerade_. The events of this fic take place after the events of _Masquerade_. _Masquerade_ is still in the process of being written, however, so bear that in mind while reading this._**

_If I may ask you all to, please listen to the song if you've not already. Each break represents a different part of the song. The first section is the first verse, the second is the pre-chorus, the third the chorus, the fourth the bridge, the final one is the chorus again. So please, listen to the song or google the lyrics if you're unfamiliar with the song. c:_

* * *

It was raining. That's the only thing I vividly remember. The rain was coming down hard and cold, like little bullets pounding on my head and shoulders. I was sitting in front of a freshly buried grave. I'd just bought a bouquet of roses—a single red, a single white, and a single black, surrounded by lavender roses. One meant "I love you", another meant silence, the third meant death, and the lavender meant love at first sight.

Thunder cracked around me, and I could almost feel the electricity in the air. Tangible. I breathed in deeply, staring at the headstone. The words meant little to me. They were markings on stone, with no real meaning. I saw a name, a birth date, a death date, and a quote. I could feel tears burning my cheeks, but the rain running down my face counteracted the heat.

Slowly, I stood and looked up. The sky was a dark, cloudy gray. A bolt of lightning struck down, but I couldn't find it within myself to care for my own safety.

He was gone.

* * *

I drove to my studio. My body was sore and tired, sluggish even. I wanted to stay in the storm. I wanted to be as close to him as possible. Even being six feet apart hurt, yet that was the closest I could get.

My head was aching, but I ignored it. I grabbed my bag and entered the building, turning the light switches on as I walked. I went straight to the showers and turned the faucet on near boiling. I stripped and stepped in, hardly noticing the burning sensation as my body tried to adjust from the cold rain to the hot water.

* * *

He was gone, and I couldn't change that. I could yell at the sky, at whatever God is up there. I could beg for them to take me, to bring him back. I could punch the ground at whatever devil is down there, asking what I did to deserve to have the best person in my life ripped away from me.

He was my everything. He was my other half, my better half. He gave me strength. He gave me hope. He loved me.

And I loved him. My love for him was stronger than the sun was bright. He saved me, in every sense of the word. He was my knight in shining armor, my best friend, my lover.

How was I supposed to live without him, when a world without him was pointless?

* * *

In sweatpants and nothing else, with club music blaring in my ears, I danced. I was a lone soul in the room and sweat was beading down my face. It mingled with the warm wetness on my cheeks. My chest heaved with sobs just as it heaved with lack of air.

I was overworking myself and I knew it, but I couldn't find the will to care. I couldn't stop. I needed to move. If I didn't move, I had no purpose. He said I was most beautiful when I danced, because that's when I was in my element. He said the moment he fell in love with me was the first time he'd seen me in motion.

I twirled and pirouetted, kicked and jumped. I didn't pay attention to the music, only the beat. Fast, violent—that was what I wanted. I didn't want anything slower. Something fast didn't allow me time to think, only gave me time to move. I couldn't think.

* * *

I could feel the exhaustion inside of me taking over. Fatigue was seeping into my muscles, slowing me down. I remember I broke down, trying harder than before to keep up with the beat. If I slowed down even fractionally, I was done. My thoughts would catch up with the functioning part of my mind. The reality of the fact that the love of my life, my best friend, my lover, my everything, was dead, gone, and never coming back.

But I couldn't keep moving. I'd gone over forty-eight hours without sleep, and it was difficult to keep my eyes open. Just as I tripped over my own sluggish feet, I put my hands out in front of me to break my fall. I felt pangs go through my nerves as I fell, and from here I gave up and curled onto my side.

* * *

It felt like years passed before I moved. I felt strong hands pick me up and press me against a too-warm chest. I heard speaking, but it felt as though I were underwater. I deciphered two voices, but nothing more.

I hadn't been able to stop crying. Nothing I did worked. I could feel the quick rise and fall of my chest as my heart broke into more pieces. I could feel the hair lying on my face, steadily getting wetter with the tears mingling with the sweat that still clung to my skin.

I opened my eyes long enough to see fiery red hair. It was Axel carrying me.

I felt myself being set down in the backseat of a vehicle. My head was being placed in the lap of someone with blonde, spiky hair. That was Roxas. His face was solemn and his eyes were dull.

It doesn't make sense, I found myself thinking angrily. He still had Axel. He had no reason to look as though half his life had been ripped away from him, not like mine had. But not a moment later, I crumpled into his lap and curled tighter into a ball. He was close to him, too, I reminded myself.

I was being picked up again, carried into a house. It was mine now, just mine, because he was gone. The bed I was set on with the crumpled sheets seemed too big now. It was too big for one person to sleep on. The room itself seemed too large, and it taunted me with every glance around I took. It laughed at me. His clothes were strewn everywhere, the notes he'd leave for me in random places. His books were piled around on the floor, his notebooks and pens on every solid surface so that he could write anything at a moments' notice.

The blankets were placed over me just as I fell unconscious.

I dreamed of a choreographic duet, between myself and the man I would miss for the rest of my life. Just before I woke up, I heard these words whispered to me, as if being amplified by speakers.

"_I love you. Never stop doing what you love, Demyx. Never stop dancing.__"_


End file.
